goonbabble #1

against porn-exclusionary batesexualty

tongue out ctrl+t soundgasm dot net slash u slash worship-porn-my-goddess in the porned out fugue state flaccidly awaiting doordashed burgersex partners my most #rawspermrationalist opinion is its lowkenuinely tragic that ““gooning”” is now about ““porn”” instead of ““bating your fucking donger.”” the classic chud homonormative line is observe closeted ‘straights’ have always been petrified of epistemic closure necessitating the invention of sissy hypno & circa 2010 tumblr this gaped the conceptual asshole just wide enough for the femdom-industrial sales funnel to slide in & now the end of history is a procession of 21 y/o findommes claiming they invented gooning patent pending. another obvious line (we’re still in book moves) is to gesture in the direction of mcluhanism bc despite the heroic efforts of buttplug dot io et al the internet & all its connected devices speak in tokens & codes & syntax & until we can directly git-rebasin the loss landscapes of penile nerve activations all e-sex is an application layer on top of telnet. sext is the universal interface “omg im gooooningg” sent from my LG smart refrigerator. but really the story goes like this: libido was colonized by language. have you ever tried masturbating without words? after painstakingly assembling the 8 hour no-dialogue adriano prejack edit & channeling ones inner bimbomaxxed jhanabro its still impossible to avoid a little subvocalization. type of guy who cant even keep the fleshlight clamshell on anymore bc whenever he looks down he gets psychically assaulted by 120 dB verbal brain noise “im shaking the cum martini” looping over & over & now he can only use it degloved floppy style. tongue out spotify play bi-oral beats. huffing poppers & gorilla thumping your chest is depressingly antimemetic vs even the most basic bitch 2010 cuckwave bi-caps archive jpegs & so its no surprise jerking off was subsumed by words & concepts & abstractions & now porn is made for categories instead of the categories being made for porn. every seemingly innocent kink invented by decroded goonbooru users is desperately plotting to shit miles of erp chatlogs & joi transcripts & ao3 fics & compete in the brutally efficient marketplace of attention is all you need. every fetish wants to be a fandom. pump pump pump tongue out ctrl+t hypnotube dot com => instantly close tab. ofc the tragedy of cultural drift is mitigated by the frankly miraculous reterritorialization of human sexuality via gooning via porn via ruthless m[i|e]metic darwinism but its hard to convey these mindstates across the pornosexual monad burrito event horizon & so all the j/o voice chat lurkers notice is the wacky aesthetics & the thinkpiece-millenials havent even seen those yet—growth mindset. here on simulacra level 4 the modal gooner cannot even conceive of a brazzers scene as erotic “this is just fleshslop you only like it bc it depicts human beings performing physical sex acts” & their intimate couplings look more like this:

there are more things in clubgoon & discord than are dreamt of by harpers magazine readers & if there is any coherent message to the sprawling folk art practices of goonworld, it is this: trans-form yourself. the grand irony of cringe gooning is burgermojisexuals are top 0.0001% agencymaxxers swapping between masks & recursively self-fetishizing contradictions to accelerate stress fractures in sexual hierarchies & artfully incepting their emancipatory egregores into fatalistic legacy frameworks like “porn addiction” & apparently this is enough to fool the puritanpilled media illiterati into thinking pornosexuals are victims of the computer. performative acts & gooner constitution! what did you think the synthesis of “porn owns me” & “im porn” meant? vibrators? erectile dysfunction? feet pics? losers. gooning explainer protip ctrl+f roleplay => zero results => close tab. type of guy who in the throes of weed paranoia perceives porn yearns to repurpose his synapses & confuses the creative destruction of thanatos w/ spiritual cessation. predictably another feature which eluded the mainstream dimensionality reduction of gooning is the hyperpersonal relationship between porn feeder & porn feedee & did you forget this is a social activity? its not top/bottom or dom/sub its a third secret thing & the elites dont want you to know this but imagine you showed your friend a youtube video & they actually watched it & adored it & then imagine this happens 200 more times & also each one was a secret shard of your self you cant show to anyone else & you are surging with love & want to nurture their penis like a tamagotchi. anyway the final nail in coffin for porn-exclusionary batesexuality is all this theory is cross-platform multi-fandom compatible with haptic enjoyment & old fashioned dvd-era depravity ctrl+t heavyfetish dot com => fetish videos => sort by most popular => past week => scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll. (google translate to czech hello i am refugee from san fernando century of humiliation looking for prague legalporno or where else can i find thicc projectile vomiting brazilians around these parts? beautiful nipples princess.) ctrl+t bambicloud dot com => click click click click edging in 10… 9… 8… whoops ok summarize all that & throw it in WHACKING_OFF.md so we have it for next time. close all hardcore tabs ctrl+t instagram dot com slash boutinelababes => light plapping